My name is Nick Zaller and I am the Project Lead for the Rhode Island Closing the Addiction Treatment Gap (CATG) Initiative.

CATG is a coalition of over 40 member organizations dedicated to raising awareness about the addiction treatment gap in our state.  The addiction treatment gap is the difference between the number of Rhode Islanders suffering from addiction and the number who actually receive the substance use treatment that they need.

We are very excited to launch this blog as a way to open up dialogue on addiction, the need for high-quality treatment, and solutions for closing the addiction treatment gap.  Over time we will collect personal treatment and recovery stories, posting from coalition members, news stories and comment, on policy updates on the blog.

Sharing your personal addiction, treatment, and recovery story is a great way to connect a human face to the need for access to high-quality addiction treatment for all who need it in Rhode Island.  We would love to hear your story, and to share it with others.  Please consider sharing your story, or by commenting on our posts or the stories of others.  If you’d like to share your story, please contact me at: info@closethegapri.org.

Here’s a preview of the type of story that you can expect to see from us soon…

My name is Jim Gillen and I am a person in long term recovery, which means that I

haven’t used any alcohol or drugs since 1998.  As a result of this, my life has gotten a lot better.

I am originally from a dead end street in the Bushwick section in Brooklyn, NY.  Growing up in a family of mixed heritage, we grew up around a lot of alcohol abuse and violence.  We thought that everyone lived like that.  Sometimes my Dad would be missing for a few days and people would come to the house looking for him, and it wasn’t until years later that I found out it was related to some violent incident, usually alcohol-related.  Don’t get me wrong - I loved my Father very much.  He was just a product of generations of similar behaviors and sadly, the awareness and help that is available today was not available then.

My alcohol and drug use started early - at holiday gatherings, drinking leftover cocktails from the adults.

When we moved from our beloved Brooklyn to Queens (which was probably a mile away, but felt like a lifetime away) I withdrew and spent a lot of time alone.  I soon fell in with a rough crowd that smoked a lot of marijuana.  I developed a love for smoking pot, using LSD, and a great love for amphetamines.  I used these almost every day from the age of 14 until my late 20’s.

I missed my prom and almost my graduation due to a series of hangovers.  The day after I graduated high school, I hitchhiked to New Orleans.  This was the first of many geographic changes that I hoped would make my life better.

After awhile, I returned to NY and enrolled at a local university.  That didn’t last beyond a few semesters, as I rarely attended class.  I soon drifted back into the family business of radio-dispatched taxis, which I’d worked at since I was 12 and always hated.

The drinking and drug use continued and I soon found myself with 4 children, working and partying around the clock.

My Dad’s alcohol dependence increased to the point where most mornings, he would arrive at work already intoxicated.  My Mom covered for, and enabled, both of us.  Some of the strongest memories of time I spent with my Dad were us getting drunk together.

He died in 1981 at the age of 54 as a result of this disease.

In the years following, I made several geographic changes and traveled extensively.  The alcohol use continued, as well as dabbling in opiates and into a new love: cocaine.  Everyone I associated with was into it and I quickly fell into step.

In the late 1980’s, after many separations of marriage and a stint living in New Orleans, I was introduced to the world of outpatient treatment and 12-step meetings.  As with everything else in life, I would drift in and out.  I eventually began a four-year run of abstinence and recovery, largely through 12 step meetings and counseling.

I was able to attend the College of Media Arts in New York City for broadcasting and production, doing some local City College and High School basketball games on the radio.  It was during this time that I found what I thought was my dream job: hooking on with a large traveling Children’s Farm and Native American Show.  We toured extensively, and I continued to attend 12 step meetings around the country.  However, the schedule allowed me to stay non-committal and remain a loner.

Having no clue how to live or pay bills, I was overwhelmed, and relapsed.  Everything that I worked so hard to build fell apart so quickly.  I eventually lost that dream job - twice.

Stay tuned for the rest of Jim’s story…

Thanks for reading!

Nick